The STOP technique is a simple but powerful grounding technique used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to help create calm in stressful situations and prevent impulsivity. It’s helpful during moments of anxiety, conflict and distress. This technique is suitable for all including, children, young people, adults and couples. It can also be adapted to support a range of situations and needs.
S- STOP
STOP what ever you're doing, pause the conversation if it’s getting too heated and take a break. Stop the negative critical thoughts making you feel like a bad person. Stop the worry spiral that's making you see nothing but doom and gloom. If you are having a conversation that's turning into an argument, stop so that things do not escalate, however, it’s important you return to the conversation at a better time when all parties are calmer. Even a brief stop will break the cycle of reacting impulsively. This small break will create some mental space to think more clearly and in a helpful way that will benefit all parties involved.
T- Take a Breath
This an opportunity to take deep diaphragmatic breaths in and out to calm your nervous system. When we are stressed, our breathing becomes shallow and fast, this signals danger to the brain. Slow and deep breaths activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which lowers your heart rate, relaxes your muscles and reduces stress hormones
O- Observe
- What thoughts are going through your mind
- How you are feeling
- What’s triggering about the situation
- What sensations you are experiencing in your body
P- Proceed
When you feel calmer and have had the opportunity to reflect and observe what you are feeling and thinking, you’d be in a better position to proceed with the most helpful next step. If you need to pause a conversation, it’s important to proceed with an action that is helpful for everyone involved. For example, rather than simply walking away, inform the other parties that you need to take a break and agree on a better time to continue the conversation.
The STOP technique is effective because it disrupts the brain's automatic stresss response and allows your brain shift from an impulsive reaction to a thoughtful action. It is a simple emotional regulation tool that is versatile enough to use anywhere, during a difficult conversation, in anxiety inducing situations and when you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts.
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